


His Angel

by jazd801



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angel & Human Interactions, Angel/Human Relationships, M/M, Modern AU, Oneshot, Psychological Trauma, angel!Levi, angels are real, brotherly and sisterly love, implied angel turning into human, implied rape, mostly in Eren's POV, not much of LeviEren interaction here sry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 05:53:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1129100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazd801/pseuds/jazd801
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like most people would say, "Seeing is believing", and for Eren, he will only believe these beings existed if he ever seen one. </p><p>Angels are indeed real.</p><p>- Based on a true story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Angel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AsakuraHannah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsakuraHannah/gifts).



> This is unbeta-ed so expect to see grammatical errors here and there. I'll just apologize in advanced if you've noticed some.
> 
> I haven't written anything decent for the whole two years so my English and vocabulary is a bit rusty and weeeellll this is my first fic for this fandom! HURRAY~ (*・u・)ノ⌒*`*`* This is by far the longest one-shot I've ever written... oh mai gollie gee. I blame AsakuraHannah for this, okay not really :| But I guess this is for you...? ehhh.
> 
> Some parts in this story are based on a true story, the rest are just a figment of my imagination.  
>  ~~I honestly don't know what this is all about, by the way :\~~
> 
> Please enjoy~ *BOWS*

**His Angel**

 

Gods, angels, supernatural beings, Eren Jaeger doesn't used to believe in any of them exist in today's modern world. He did believed (still now) that someday the whole world will evolve into some sci-fi movie with flying vehicles and time-travelling machines from today's high-tech gadgets he's been seeing on television or from shops being on display.

 

Like most people would say, "seeing is believing" and for Eren, he will only believe these beings existed if he ever seen one. But there are those who believed in them without ever doubting they don't, the brunet thought.

 

Eren's heart skipped a bit and let out a soft sigh soon after when he felt two strong arms wrapped themselves around his naked waist, pulling him closer to the owner's equally naked body.

 

A small smile formed on the brunet's lips when he suddenly remembered a fond memory.

 

A memory when he was just a little boy.

 

A memory when he first saw his angel.

 

# # # # #

 

The first time Eren saw him, he was just a little boy.

 

It was around on a cold night of December. Little Eren was alone watching his favorite cartoons in the living room while his mommy, daddy and big sister Mikasa was inside the master's bedroom watching movies meant for the holidays.

 

It happened all so fast; one moment Eren's attention moved from watching his cartoons to the colorful bright lights dancing around their medium-sized Christmas tree adorned with so many ornaments like balls in red and gold colors, candy canes and little Santa Clauses, and the next he was staring intently on a spot where the blinding bright white light was coming from. Even for a little boy whose mindset wasn't as bright as his big sister was, he could tell that the light wasn't coming from any of the lights in the dimly-lit living room.

 

Little Eren continued to stare, stare, stare until he could see a silhouette of a person - a male, a small voice from the back of his head said - standing where the bright light was. The little boy looked up and his blue-green eyes sparkled in astonishment as his small mouth opened in a slight 'o' at the equally bright light emitting from his wings. This man had wings! **_WINGS!_** White majestic wings... What kind of a man has wings, anyway?

 

Eren observed the man further, he was wearing clothes all in white, from shoes up to his shirt, except for his hair. They were jet-black and the only color that stands out the most because of all the whites he's wearing. The little boy continued to stare, looking up and down at the man in front of him, wondering if what he is seeing was real or not.

 

The boy squeaked as his heart started to frantically beat in his chest as the man silently and slowly turned his head to where he was sitting at. And then the man smiled down at him.

 

Little Eren blinked and the man disappeared. The boy kept staring at the spot where he saw the man for a few more seconds until fear gripped his heart at what he have realized must be staring at a ghost. At that realization, the boy squealed in fear, dashing to the master's bedroom where everyone was, crying and rambling about seeing a man in white with wings outside.

 

He didn't have any clue back then that what he saw was his angel until so many years later.

 

# # # # #

 

Eren softly laughed at that memory. What kind of a ghost had wings?

 

He only realized it was an angel and not a ghost he saw back then when he was in grade school and his friend, Armin, showed him one of the bible books his grandfather had a stash of collection of. When Eren saw a picture of an angel from the book, it immediately reminded him of the one he saw from seeing the angel's clothes on the book had the same clothes the man wore, except for the golden halo atop its head.

 

Eren still couldn't believed what he saw was actually an angel. He's only seen him once after all, and it's already been so five years since he last saw him.

 

The brunet frowned when he remembered his greatest sin he ever did in his life.

 

It was also the second time he's seen his angel then.

 

# # # # #

 

The second time Eren's angel showed up was when he was battling his own inner demons.

 

He was fourteen when his whole life turned for the worst. The once happy-filled house the two children were living in long gone when their mother, Carla Jaeger, died in a car accident. She was driving home from work that day when her car crashed into a post light and died immediately from the impact where she banged her head on the window. Witnesses say there was another car who overtook and Carla Jaeger swivelled her own car to avoid the incoming vehicle going its way to her but didn't see the post light.

 

When the hospital called to tell them about the sudden sad news, everyone cried except for him. Perhaps he was too shocked or it was because he had a huge argument with her on the same day she died.

 

It didn't register completely in his mind that his beloved mother was now forever gone from his life until their father started blaming him for taking away his wife.

 

After the incident, Grisha Jaeger became withdrawn from his two children and even stopped coming to work because he's locked himself away in the master's bedroom; he would only come out when his stash of liquor run out or felt like blaming all that's happened to his stupid son who he wished had never been born in this world and Carla would still be alive till now.

 

Sooner after that, the beatings started.

 

Perhaps Eren's will-power was too strong or that he just plainly doesn't care anymore when his father would come to his room drunk every night and would start beating him up for no reason at all. Even after all the beatings, Eren didn't cry or utter any painful sound after the first time the beatings started.

 

Mikasa would always be there by his side every time their father receded back to his room to patch him up. She would embrace him like she always have whenever Eren was feeling down. She would kiss his forehead and softly say, "Everything's all right, Eren. It's not your fault" over and over again like a mantra as she wrapped her warm arms around her little brother till they both fall asleep in Eren's bed.

 

Regardless of what his sister was telling him though, Eren knew deep down in his heart that everything's been happening in their lives was indeed his fault. Maybe his father was right. Maybe if he wasn't been born in this world, this wouldn't happen. Maybe if he didn't had that argument with her, she wouldn't have died. Maybe... maybe...

 

 _Maybe_ _if you kill him now everything would go back to normal_.

 

Blue-green eyes snapped open, his heart beating frantically in his chest that it started to hurt, his air passage squeezing like someone's choking him and he desperately breathed for air. He didn't hear Mikasa calling out for his name nor feel her shaking his trembling body to wake up from whatever nightmare he was having.

 

But he wasn't having a nightmare.

 

...Was he?

 

He can see Mikasa's worried expression behind the blurry vision because he had his eyes open. Was his eyes really open, though? He couldn't tell. His whole body feels numb and he's slowly getting cold all over, it felt like he was being dipped in an ice-cold water.

 

The next thing Eren felt was a stinging pain on the left side of his cheek.

 

And his eyes opened.

 

"W-wha...?" Eren wheezed when a pair of arms wrapped tightly around his neck, pulling him towards a warm body.

 

Mikasa made shushing noises while patting and stroking the trembling brunet's hair in her arms, "It's all right, Eren, it was just a bad dream."

 

_A bad dream...?_

 

But it felt so real.

 

-

 

It wasn't a dream, Eren concluded.

 

Because if it was he wouldn't be this crazy enough to think that _that_ voice full of sinister and malice was actually making him want to do something bad. The first thing that came to mind the second time he heard the voice was 'devil' _._

A devil was whispering in his ear.Wanting him to do things he wouldn't normally think of.

 

_Like stabbing his father with the scissor he's holding on to._

 

It's been like that since the first time he's heard of the whispers. The second time it happened was when he got really angry about something in school. Someone made a joke about his mother killing herself because Eren was a fucking nuisance to that asshole who have said it.

 

Eren remembered the teachers coming and yelling at him to stop, stop, stop beating the other up to a bloody mess but Eren couldn't hear them when all he can was those malicious voices whispering in his ear to _kill, kill, kill_.

 

He would have probably killed the other student if it wasn't for Mikasa who stopped his arm from stabbing the other with something he was holding on to.

 

And that something was a ball-point pen. Where or how he got it, he didn't know. He just felt this sudden urge to kill someone and that someone was laying underneath him half-beaten to death.

 

After that, the incident that had happened spread rapidly fast around the school campus and Eren's reputation as one of the five top students (because Mikasa who was ranked top was his tutor) went all down the drain. Especially after when the news reached his father's ears and the beatings became more and more violent every day. There were even days that Eren couldn't move a single muscle in his body because everything ached. His body, his mind, his heart. Everything hurt that Eren's tired of this thing called life.

 

Eren tried killing his self once but whenever the image of his caring beloved sister flashed through his mind, the feeling of wanting to end his miserable life goes away and he would immediately taken over by the feeling of self-loathing and disgust because if he end his life now, who would stay beside his sister then? His beloved older sister Mikasa who was always been the first person who would take his side no matter what when their parents don't.

 

That's when Eren promised to his self that he would protect her no matter what. He would endure all the beatings from his father and living this miserable life as long as he can see her smiling warmly at him. He would protect Mikasa, even if he would have to murder someone for it.

 

-

 

It happened a month or so after that ruckus in school. His father was more withdrawn as before, always locking himself up in his room and wasting his life and money away by drinking and buying more liquor when he runs out of it. He still would always come to Eren's room every night to beat him up, never forgetting to blame him for everything while he's at it and Mikasa would always come to her little brother's room after the beatings were over to patch him up. And the two siblings would always go about their lives normally like nothing had ever happened the night before.

 

Eren, who toughened himself up to the point he sometimes no longer hears those voices whispering in his head nor having those urges to stab someone started to come along to his best friend's committed schedule of going to the church every Sunday to pray.

 

Ever since Eren decided to share his encounter with the demons in his head, Armin had suggested he should come along with him and his grandfather to the church and ask the Lord to protect him from the dark entity that was slowly enveloping his heart.

 

He came along once and somehow he felt like his whole body, mind and soul has been cleansed the moment he stepped foot inside the holy grounds. That night and for the rest of the following nights, Eren has stopped hearing those voices whispering in his head and got the feeling life will turn out good soon.

 

But that never happened. In fact those thoughts about turning into a new leaf all came crashing down and broke into tiny little pieces when everything he had worked for those voices to never come back had all been washed away when the day he finally grabbed a knife and stabbed his father in the chest came.

 

It wasn't his fault that time.

 

It wasn't because the voice in his head told him to.

 

**_No._ **

 

He only wanted to protect Mikasa from the monster their father had become.

 

Because he had promised he would protect her no matter what.

 

Mikasa was the first one to regain her consciousness and once she did, she came towards Eren and wrapped her arms around his trembling body as she slowly took away the bloody knife from her brother's hands and slid the knife away from them.

 

Eren cried the very first time that day.

 

He clung to his sister like she was his only life-line in this miserable life he had.

 

He was too busy letting out every pent up emotions he had tucked away since the day his life had turned upside-down that he didn't see the silhouette of a man with wings staring at them with such sad eyes.

 

-

 

Eren was sixteen and Mikasa was eighteen when both of their lives slowly changed for the better.

 

 

It had been a whole year since Eren and Mikasa was offered to stay with the Arlert's home after that horrifying incident happened. Armin's grandfather was kind and understanding enough to let the two siblings live with him and Armin, and told them that they were free to live there as long as they wanted.

 

But the siblings knew they couldn't stay with them for the rest of their lives without repaying the elderly man. Plus they couldn't keep worrying the Arlert family about Eren's nightmares that has been getting worst every night since that day Eren almost drowned.

 

Eren was tagged along by Mikasa who was invited by her college friends to a pool party. It was also the third time Eren has seen his angel.

 

He was supposed to stay put in a less crowded part of the pool side or in a shallow part of the pool if he ever wanted to go swimming. He promised Mikasa he would but then this horse-face showed up in his line of vision and invited him to go pool-sliding with him and his buds, Eren declined with a shake of his head however, and the next thing he know he was waiting for his turn to slide down the pool-slide.

 

It was a wrong decision.

 

Eren should have ignored the horse-face ('Jean' he thinks his name was) and the way he had riled him up. Apparently it was a trap to lure him in and do pool-sliding with him. He should have remained calm.

 

And now Eren's going to drown himself because even though he knew he could reach the floor by how tall he was, the water height actually reaches to his collarbone so if he could just calm down and touch the bottom floor, everything would be okay and everyone would laugh at him if he immerged from the water laughing but truthfully he was having a major panic attack right now because he doesn't know why his long legs couldn't feel any bottom floor underneath or why there was something that was pulling him down, down, **_down_** away from the surface.

 

Eren was beyond terrified. He wanted to scream. Scream for help. But he couldn't open his mouth. His eyes felt heavy keeping them open. Why is everyone not helping him?! Couldn't they see he's drowning already?!

 

His body felt heavy and tired from the struggle. His eyes started to close. He could see darkness slowly enveloping him but then moments later, he felt his body getting light and his eyes no longer felt heavy.

 

When he looked up above, he saw the same blinding bright light he had seen when he was a little boy. He smiled at the familiar presence and felt himself being pushed up, up, up to the surface, surprising everyone when he gasped and wheezed desperately for air. Mikasa was already paddling towards him wearing an expression mixed with panic, worry and guilt.

 

Eren doesn't know why his sister was feeling guilty. Maybe she was guilty she left him alone? But it wasn't her fault he tagged along with what's-his-name to go pool-sliding when he should have already know he doesn't have the skills to save anyone from drowning.

 

The only thing Eren knew that the same angel he'd always seen has come again to his rescue and Eren was filled with so much warmth and serenity the he let himself be wrapped with them as darkness flowed in him.

 

-

 

After a month or so of nightmares recurring again, Hanji Zoe, one of Armin's good friends, suggested Eren to see a shrink, specifically her mother, who was known as one the best psychologists there is in town, and so Eren did (he couldn't really say no when his sister looked at him with those eyes anyway.)

 

What was meant to help him only made him feel worse and the nightmares became scarier and scarier every night that he usually spends most of his nights awake. He would only let himself sleep if he took sleeping pills or have the lights on in his room over night.

 

Eren never once told Mikasa about his sleeping problems.

 

Not when his nightmares stopped recurring altogther suddenly.

 

It was around the same time he's seen his angel for the fourth time (and probably the last.)

 

Eren was in his room, sleeping. The room was dark, really dark. The only light seeping through the room was from the moon up in the sky and the dimly-lit lighting from the hallway. Crickets singing and the occasionally meowing of cats outside could be heard amidst the soft sounds of pained and terrified grunts and moaning of a person sleeping on the bed.

 

 The brunet was actually having another nightmare but unlike his other usual nightmares, this one seemed more real. It felt like Eren was awake and was watching an old movie about the entirety of his life when his mother died to the day his father became insane down to the day he had stabbed his father to death.

 

There was a static and then the scene changed to the time he had almost drowned. Eren felt like drowning all over again. He tried to struggle away from the vice-like grip on his leg. When he tried to see who or what it was that was pulling him down to the bottom, blue-green eyes widened in fear.

 

It was his father.

 

His father even now is tormenting him.

 

_Why, why, why?!_

_Would his father's soul be able to be free if he killed his own son...?_

_No!_

_He promised he would protect Mikasa._

_If his father take him away now, who would protect his sister?!_

 

Eren struggled even more from the grip.

 

But the more he struggled, the more he grew tired.

 

_No, no, no...!_

_I want to live!_

_Please... anyone... save me..._

 

...

 

_"-ren..."_

 

Something was enveloping Eren. It was warm and soft... and feathery...?

 

Eren's eyes snapped open.

 

He was no longer drowning. His father was gone. The static, the scary voices, **_everything_** were all gone.

 

His body felt light and somehow he felt like he had felt this way a million times before in the past. This feeling... Why does it feel so familiar... and nostalgic. Eren just wanted to sleep feeling secured and protected like this forever.

 

_"Eren..."_

 

But there was someone calling him, stopping him from going back to sleep.

 

_"Oi..."_

 

Eren groggily blinked. _Who... who is it?_

 

_"...Look up, brat."_

And, Eren looked up.

 

What he saw made his eyes sparkle in astonishment and then his lips stretched into a wide smile.

 

"You're that same angel I saw when I was little... right?"

 

_"...Yes."_

 

"Were you also the one who saved me back then...?"

 

 _"Yes... I have always stayed by your side since you were just a little boy, Eren."_ The angel wrapped his arms securely around the brunet's waist, pulling him in a tight embrace, his majestic white wings enveloped them both as he slowly descended down till Eren could feel like standing up on his own two feet, _"You have struggled against everything that came your way and I am so proud of you. You protected your sister just like you promised. Your mother in Heaven would be so proud of you, Eren. What happened to your father was unfortunate however. He had succumb to his grief from losing his beloved and a demon had overtaken his soul but everything's over now, Eren."_

 

Eren felt like crying all over again at the mention of his mother being proud of him. He felt the angel softly brushed his fringe away from his closed eyes and he flushed when a pair of lips descended on his forehead, his eyes, his cheek, and the angel moved away from his face to look at him on the eye with such warmth and... longing?

 

_"...Everything's over now, Eren. You'll be living normally now. You will live your life to the fullest."_

 

Eren must be wearing a panicked expression because the angel smiled down at him, cupping his cheek with gentleness before those same pair of lips that had kissed his forehead just a few moments ago captured his own in a heated kiss.

 

When the two broke apart, the angel made a disgusted face at Eren's snotty face before smiling down at him and once again capture his lips, _"...I love you, Eren."_

 

And the dream ended there.

 

But not before leaving Eren with a promise that he will someday meet his angel again.

 

# # # # #

 

Eren squeaked when he felt the other occupant on the bed moved to lay on his back and pulled his arms indicating for him to come lay his head on the other's well-defined chest. The other man's arms were wrapped securely on the side of Eren's waist, drawing lazy circles on his hips with his finger under the warm blankets.

 

The two stayed like that relishing in each other's body warmth until a voice hoarse from sleep spoke up,

 

"...Were you crying?"

 

"No, I wasn't," Eren quickly replied as he turned his head to look up at a pair of stormy blue eyes which were peering down with his own. The brunet moved his head till he could feel the other man's lips and peck on them before snuggling back to the other's chest, "I was just remembering about something."

 

"Hmm."

 

Eren softly chuckled,  "I was remembering how you came into my life, Levi."

 

"Ah, _that_ again, huh?"

 

"Mm..."

 

-

 

It has been three years since that dream and true to the angel's words, Eren lived his life (with his sister) to the fullest and he met new friends along the way. The only promise that kept him roaring through life was that promise he had with his angel.

 

For some reason, Eren knew Levi like they were once childhood friends that have been separated for so many years even though they have only met for the first time in the school library that day.

 

He couldn't understand at first why he felt this immense urge to embrace the man before him until he felt those same arms wrapped themselves around his lean frame and felt his body being pulled to the other's chest that all of those memories he first saw his angel when he was just a little boy up to the day he had saved his life multiple times flashed into his mind.

 

The feeling of longing and love all flowed in him as he wrapped his own trembling arms around the shorter male's neck and buried his head to the other's shoulder and cried. It was on that day Eren cried his heart's out for the second time ever since his mother died.

 

Amidst of everything, Eren could feel another pair of warm slender arms wrapping around the two males and Eren's heart swelled with so much love when he saw his mother gently smiling down at him with such a serenity on her face that made Eren smile genuinely for the first time in his once miserable life.

 

_Everything's all right now, Eren._

_Levi will protect you from now on._

_I will love you forever._

 

Levi... His angel's name was Levi.

 

_Levi._

 

"I love you, Levi.

 

Thank you for always being there with me."

 

_Angels are indeed real._

**Author's Note:**

> Like it? Hate it? Leave comments... maybe? //RUNS
> 
> -  
> Since there were so many time-skip and flashback going on here, here's a bit of a summary:
> 
> * Eren was five years old when he first saw angel!Levi.  
> * He was ten when he found out the ghost-with-wings was actually an angel.  
> * His mother died when he was fourteen years old.  
> ** The second time Eren supposedly have seen angel!Levi didn't really count ^^; So he only have seen the angel three times.  
> * A year after that, stabbed his dad. He was fifteen then.  
> * Mikasa is two years older than Eren, btw.  
> * Eren was sixteen (and Mikasa was eighteen) when his nightmares started.  
> * Eren was a sophomore in college when he finally saw Levi. He's nineteen then and Levi's a graduating student.  
> **The reason why Levi turned from an angel to a mortal was because he fell in love with Eren, a mortal. So his 'punishment' was to live on earth till the day he dies.  
> -
> 
> Ohgawd I am so embarrassed of myself for writing this I'm gonna go and offer myself as titan food now!
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!


End file.
